Nightmare's Excellent Adventure!
by King-of-Grunge92
Summary: What happens when nightmares daughter is turning 18 and has PMS? Read it yourselves jeezusjuice!
1. Chapter 1

Nightmares Excellent Adventure

We all know the stories by now. Nightmare is the evil guy from SC2 ( Soul Calibur 2 for all you retards out there). He's got an evil sword named soul edge. Its got an eye ball on it and it really makes you tempted to poke it with a stick. If you like SC2, Jackass, and Ferris Beulers day off then here's your story.

Day 1: The Birthday

Today it is nightmare's daughters birthday ( I know it's shocking). And just to make it more worse she's goin through PMS. Nightmare is at the local Wal-Mart trying to buy his daughter a present.

"Hi im looking for a present for my daughter" says nightmare.

" Really? good for you. How old is she?" says clerk.

" I have no fricken clue. Whats the age where they get really bitchy?"

"18?" says clerk.

"Bingo!!!!"

" You know I have a son who is eighteen. He's a goof. He runs off into the middle of the night and gets drunk. Then goes and gets high and OD's on heroin. He's a bastard but I still love him as a kid you know. But he's lik……"

Nightmare is singing in his head " love and marriage, love and marriage. Go together like a horse and carriage. This I tell you brother. You can't have one without the other. Love and marriage, love and marriage." (this is the married with children theme)

"So does she like jewelry?" clerk says.

"Oh sure I guess…" says nightmare.

"Well we have this really nice diamond ring. For only 40000$!"

"………..hahahahahahahaha……..no."

Nightmare then bitch slaps her across the face with his mutant hand and walks out.

"God damn clerks thinking they're al that and a bag of potato chips!"

"Now what will I get her man…."

"Wait I know exactly what to get her…"

Back at the house.

"Nathalie come down here." yells nightmare.

"Yah dad" says Nathalie.

"HAPPY BIRTHDAY!"

"Oh yay thank you daddy"

Nathalie open up the box.

"It's….keys?"

"Ya the thing they go in is outside"

Nathalie gasps, runs outside and see's a….

"It's a donkey.."

"Oh ya!"

"Then what are the keys for?"

Nightmare takes the keys and looks at the donkey.

"Uhhh wait here is is!"

Nightmare takes the keys with his big mutant hand and shoves em up the donkeys ass.!

I know short chapter more comin soon.


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2

Where we last left nightmare he had just sexually harassed a jackass (donkey).

"Wow…donkey's can really kick. I mean that really escalated fast." nightmare said.

"Why the fuck did you get me a donkey and keys?!" asked his daughter.

"I don't know for sure. Does anyone else taste blood?"

"I hate you dad. I HATE YOU!" Nathalie then ran upstairs and slammed the door.

"You know I never really did like that little bitch. But she did make some kick ass grilled cheese….Well no sense in letting this cake go to waste." Nightmare then left the room.

"Honey I'm sorry for what I did. I should've never have done it. I was stupid and idiotic. It hurt me as much as it hurt you. Forgive me?"……… "awww thank you. I love you!" he said while feeding the donkey cake!

A few minutes later in the house nightmare is watching T.V.

" You stay classy….San Diego!" nightmare screamed in a high pitched girly voice.

His daughter came down stairs.

"Ummm dad?" said Nathalie.

" Yah?"

"I thought abut what you said and I'm sorry, and I love my donkey."

"That's good to hear."

"Ummm dad…. Where is my donkey?"

"On the table"

She looked at the table to see the donkey cooked with an apple in his mouth. She looked in shock.

"Breads on the counter. Help yourself."

"DAD HOW COULD YOU!!!!"

"Barbecue."

Then she started to cry.

"Don't worry honey. I used propane not charcoal." (King of the Hill music play's.)

"That was weird!"

"Don't ever talk to me again. I HATE YOU!" she said as she ran upstairs again.

"Who was that smelly pirate hooker. Meh."

He then turned on the T.V and an advertisement came on.

"Hi. Does your daughter have PMS? Did you end up getting her a donkey for her birthday? DO YOU HAVE AN UNCONTROLLABLE HUNGER FOR PORK!?"

"Yes, yes, and hell yah!"

"Well than you're a horrible father and should jump off a cliff and die!"

"…….what?"

" We now return you to Rugrats: Gone Wild explicit version."

"Great…..now I'm hungry for pork!!"

Nightmare stormed out the door and went to his car.

Reached for his keys and then remembered something……

"So that's what those keys were for!"

"……DAMNIT!!!"

Nightmare walked down the street and along the way field goal kicked a toddler. Hit on a fire hydrant, got a haircut and tripped an old man. He finally came to a building that said:

COMMERCIAL CO.

FOR ALL YOU COMMERCIAL NEEDS.

(batteries not included)

He went upstairs and knocked on an office dorr. The man from the commercial opened it and said:

"Hello how may I hel…"

He didn't even get to finish his sentence when nightmare took soul edge, put it between his legs and pulled up.

"That's for gving me the craving for pork you crazy deutch bastard"

This was even for nightmare considering the guy was like 4 feet tall and was Australian.

Back at home his daughter sneaked out and rode off with some guy that looked like Elvis?! Nightmare got home and looke at the dead donkey's ass!

"Ohhhhh. You have a miraculous hinney. I want to be friends with it."

What nightmare fails to realize the donkey is missing it's entire upper half and it is a guy!

"I have to tell you something. If you like it keep it. If you don't send it right back…."

"I want to be on you."

He then lifted up the donkey's ass and pulled down his pants armor.

He then started to actually fuc…

Meanwhile his daughter was drinking and doing drugs at a slipknot concert.

This is my second and hopefully not my last. It all depends on your reviews so send em in!


End file.
